DISQUS

Dork Muffin: Why I Hate South Florida

  • Greg · 1 year ago
    You just about covered all the bases. As far as the Dolphins go, I could care less. The Miami Dolphins winning or losing certainly does not make South Florida a better or worse place to live. The 3rd world people here on the other hand are out of control. These people never owned a car and come here and are handed a drivers license. If they miss their exit, they just back up, ON THE EXPRESSWAY! When it rains, they put their emergency flashers on (who told them this was an acceptable practice is beyond me). If they need to drop someone off or pick them up, they do it in the middle of the road. They just stop and have a conversation while creating a backup, and if you honk your horn, you are an asshole and they give you the finger and curse you out. You CAN NOT use your turn signal in Miami, people will speed up to purposely block you from merging, changing lanes, etc. People here MUST stop anytime there is something on the side of the road, wrecker truck, police car, ambulance, even if it’s in the opposite lanes of traffic. This creates a traffic jam 10 miles long and people seem perfectly happy to sit in it so they can see what happended. Most, NOT ALL, of the latin people here think their shit doesn’t stink and that they are the the best thing to ever happen to Miami. Strangely enough, latins in other places don’t act like this, or at least not to the exteme they do here. I travel a lot, and have been to every state in the country, and none of them suck like Florida. Even when flying, you can tell when you are in, or on, a flight to or from South Florida. I was flying home this last Saturday and was in Atlanta Int’l getting ready to board my connecting flight to Miami. I was in Zone 5, and when my zone was called I got in line. There was some kind of delay in boarding, and after zone 6, they called all zones all seats. Do you think the rest of the people got in the line? Of course not, said a passenger standing next to me, this flight is headed for Miami. About 50 people literally pushed there way into the front of the line and I stood there saying what the f**k is wrong with you people? Getting off, the same thing in reverse. Before the seat belt sign was even turned off, people were getting up trying to be the first ones off the plane. Then you see them standing in baggage claim waiting just like you. The people here are the most ignorant and low class I have ever seen or dealt with. I am actively looking for a house and a job in Arizona and Texas. The ONLY thing keeping me in this miserable place is my job. I will leave the instant I find one out of this place. I have lived here for 38 years, all of my life, and can’t take it any more. Now, you may say I am racist. In fact, every woman I have ever dated was latin, including my ex-wife. So, NO. I am not a racist, I am just prejudice against the STUPID, IGNORANT, 3rd WORLD, NON-ENGLISH speaking MORONS who live here. They have absolutely ruined Miami, and I always tell people from other places to NOT visit Miami. IT SUCKS!!!
  • OneLuvGurl · 1 year ago
    @Greg :S Ooof! I can't wait to get out of here, too! It all comes down to money, which besides your friggin' life force, South Florida sucks it right out of you. I have to win the lotto or find a rich relative to get outta here!
  • Comedy Plus · 1 year ago
    Don't move to California then. You will go from Cubans to Mexicans and the theme is still the same. I hate California as much as you hate Florida. Enough said. Have a great day. :)

    Comedy Pluss last blog post..Flooding Survival Kit
  • pete · 1 year ago
    I was raised in Miami. I left when I turned 18 and never looked back. That place sucks. Best of luck on your move someday. :)

    petes last blog post..Obama is too skinny to be president?
  • Raj · 1 year ago
    I find it amusing that you know so many things and precisely at that, that you hate about your city.
  • Joe · 9 months ago
    Arrogrant Cubans destroyed Southflorida.
  • chris · 9 months ago
    south florida used to be paradise and now it's rampant with crack, crime and more corrupt cops than anywhere else. Not a day goes by that there isn't more violence or another story of a bad seed cop. I left there too and never returned, and never plan to again
  • Joe · 9 months ago
    Wow, i just took time to actually read your list, and it was dead on. The only thing i would add, is that even the nice condo, and apartments have serious mold problems. In fact, most make you sign a disclosure form, so you cant sue them when you become sick. The second thing that i would add, is the huge amounts of tickets, and towing that they do in Miami, because of so few space for parking.

    The most stressful time in my life was spent in Miami. But by far, the most stressful part was living among the racit Cubans, who do nothing but strut back and forth. Lil "Scarfaces" wanna-be.
  • HOWIE · 8 months ago
    You pretty much covered all the bases about southeastern florida.The only thing you left out is the fact that the terrain is horrible.We live in a freakin swamp here.It is not stimulating or uplifting at all.The big 5 reasons imho;People,crime and corruption,cost of living,weather and topography.The area is literally and figuratively flat.
  • Morgellonsdude · 7 months ago
    Fl (and Cali) are hotbeds of morgellons syndrome. I was there in 2007 for 6 months, and caught it I think when working. I am still struggling with this. This is not a implied judgement on any certain people, other than a caution about Fl in general.

    Take Care,
    MorgellonsDude
  • Kris Holiday · 6 months ago
    my wife and I moved her 4 years ago so she could attend med school. i had no idea that this place was so overwhelmingly shitty. everything u said is pretty damn close to our constant complaints about this place. we're moving at the end june and will not be returning for good long while.

    i needed to read that, cuz (additional piont) this place can make you feel very alone.

    good luck to you,

    KRIS
  • emy · 6 months ago
    I live in a "supposedly" luxury condo. This means we have a puerto rican woman- excuse me "concierge" who gets paid 50 grand a year to sit on her fat ass, flirt with the male residents and on top of this take kickbacks. So-- if you need an aprartment clened you give her 120 , she gives the maid 40 and then keeps $80 for herselfr. Guess what-she's scoring sitting on her fat ass. Supposed ly they do background checks on all the owners or renters. but they don't. One resident as a company that sendsout luxury cars with prostitutes every night. But she can live here cause she has money.

    The building is a reflection of the mentality in south florida. Be reaaly stupid, get fake boobs, have a phony voice, own a porsche and a mercedes and you can get by and become popular. Every time a porsche drives in front of a restaurant you get a million women with fake boobs running out to meet the owner and try to pick him up. He could be a drug dealer leasing the car ar $500 a month and living in a hut- I have never never in my life seen stupider,dumber people than down, here. if I could sell my condo- and not lose money I would. Until then- its dealing with morons 24/'7,365 days
  • HOWIE · 6 months ago
    It was never paradise here,The vibe or if you want to call it energy,sucks.It all has to do with the element of people,the weather,and the topography.Its hard to believe that people love the weather down here.For about 8 months out of the year,the heat and humidity are horrific and oppressive beyond belief.It makes you feel like sleeping all the time.It is a total downer.Add to that what i mentioned earlier about violent crime and corruption and a out of control cost of living and you have a hellhole.There is no civility at all here either.
  • *L*I*L*Y*L*O*L*L*Y*P*O*P* · 6 months ago
    IF YOU HATE IT SO MUCH THEN GET DA FUK OUT N QUIT YOUR BITCHIN...
    NO ONE WANTS TO READ YOUR BULLSH!T AND ODDLY ENOUGH I HAD TO BC THATS MY HOMETOWN...
    NO GOOD CLUBS HERE?
    YOU JUST DONT KNOW WHERE TO LOOK...
    I MUST AGREE WITH YOU THAT THE DOLPHINS DO SUK...
    MY HUSBAND IS IN LOVE WITH THEM AND IM A PATS FAN SO IT GET KINDA VICIOUS IN MY HOUSE...
    THE DRIVERS HERE ARE TERRIABLE BUT NYC IS SO MUCH WORSE...

    ALL OF YOU NEED TO QUIT YOUR WHINING AND LEAVE...
    AND GET A FREAKIN LIFE...
  • April · 6 months ago
    You are the perfect example of a typical ignorant South Floridian. You type in all caps as if you are YELLING, you can't spell for shit, and somehow you think that ellipses are the same thing as periods.

    With your manic rambling, you've done a stand-up job of showing the world how much of an ass you really are. Bravo!
  • Steve M · 4 months ago
    So True!!

    I'd like to thank this poster for confirming what all the others have posted here...........

    South Florida has become a third world country.

    All Caps = Ignorance

    Spelling Errors = Stupidity

    Content = Arrogance, Stupidity, Ignorance

    Word Choices = Stupidity, Ignorance

    I think that about covers it.

    OneLuvGurl is right on the money.....................And I agree with her.
  • Feathers · 6 months ago
    I wish we could leave South Fla. But jobs... or lack of jobs else where, keeps us here. My daughter was smart and got out of here. Tells me how great it is to be around nice people. It's depressing living here. I feel like a minority in my own country. I have been told to learn to speak Spanish. I was born here. Shouldn't they learn to speak English?

    My house is so close to my neighbor I can hear them sneeze!

    I am tired. Just would like a little place in the country somewhere.
  • Michael · 5 months ago
    Tell that to all the Indians who lived here before the white men. Sell your house and get the fuck out!! Stop the bull shit and get a life. What are you afraid of???
  • Gotta Go · 4 months ago
    Totally agree!
    Here in Palm-laud-mi "it's not the heat that gets you, it's the stupidity". Best example of the idiocy is Channel 7 news. Check out the "Weather Stripper". I swear she gave me a lap dance once at Scarletts. Some other skank called Lily Lollopop was dancin to crappy hip-hop and tellin me how great Miami is.

    But seriously, after 6 years stuck in this intellectual desert I'm finally getting out! by Sept 26th I'll be living amongst the rednecks of the gulf coast. which is still preferable to the collection of scumbags and simpletons from all over the Carribean and South America. At least they speak English.

    Long live Castro!

    So here is a One-Finger Salute to all things Southeast Flori-duh.
  • Steve M · 4 months ago
    Bravo!!
  • Amyot · 4 months ago
    Totally agree!
    Here in Palm-laud-mi "it's not the heat that gets you, it's the stupidity". Best example of the idiocy is Channel 7 news. Check out the "Weather Stripper". I swear she gave me a lap dance once at Scarletts. Some other skank called Lily Lollopop was dancin to crappy hip-hop and tellin me how great Miami is.

    But seriously, after 6 years stuck in this intellectual desert I'm finally getting out! by Sept 26th I'll be living amongst the rednecks of the gulf coast. which is still preferable to the collection of scumbags and simpletons from all over the Carribean and South America. At least they speak English.

    Long live Castro!

    So here is a One-Finger Salute to all things Southeast Flori-duh.;...
  • miares · 4 months ago
    HAHA you are trading hot strippers for toothless rednecks, in all honesty not everyone can be happy, if you dont like where you are living then just leave. ITs the people wth chips on thier shoulders that create a bad atmosphere including most of the people that are complaining here so what goes around comes right back around.
  • Mike · 3 months ago
    I have to agree with what nearly everyone has said. I moved here exactly one year ago and it has been really rough for me. Really rough.

    Im 29 years old. I was born and raised in the suburbs of Detroit, Michigan and when I was 25 I moved to Tampa and spent 3 years there. I did not dislike Tampa, but I felt a little bored there and a little discouraged that the beaches werent so great (in my opinion).

    I have an aunt and some cousins in Fort Lauderdale, and I thought I would give living in South Florida a try. It seemed like fun when I visited and the beaches were gorgeous. I also have a great interest in architecture and was very impressed with all of the new highrises built in downtown Miami. It seemed like a good fit for me.

    I could not have been more wrong. First of all, for $850 a month I get about half of the apartment I got in Tampa for $725. That is only the beginning though.

    The worst part about here is the people. The latin people definately have a superior attitude in Miami, but they are not the whole problem. Black people are downright nasty here and that includes African Americans and Haitians. Dont even try to imply Im a racist; Im from the Detroit area and I never had a problem with black people there or in Tampa for that matter. Everybody is rude here and disrespectful here. Everybody.

    The latin people (Cubans in particular) are really something though. They think Miami is the center of the universe and they constantly brag about how "they run this city". What really bothers me is that they say "American" in such negative way when describing an American born person. It is almost like its a racial slur to them and they say it its only with contempt. ("he is American"). Hispanic people who are my age who WERE BORN IN THIS COUNTRY with immigrant parents (or even grandparents) do this too. Why trash the country that has been so good to you? As a proud American that really rubs me the wrong way.

    Its so fun to get treated with disrespect 75% of the time you go to a gas station, 7-11, fast food establishment, the grocery store etc. It will literally blow your mind. Anywhere else Ive lived or visited, if you treat a customer like that YOURE FIRED.

    While there are beautiful women here, the concept is very exaggerated. Women here are VERY shallow. One Cuban guy I met couldnt afford his rent and had to move his wife and children into his friends house. He drives some big body BMW though and told me he got worked over when he bought it and his payment is $789 or something like that. I asked him.........."why dont you get rid of this car and put that money toward housing???" He told me when he drove a Nissan no woman would pay attention to him and now he gets all kinds of girls on south beach driving his BMW. Its worth mentioning that this guy is good looking and muscular. What does that tell you?


    Im going back to Tampa. I have hated this place so much. I dont care if a Cuban writes back in all CAPS bashing what I just said. Miami sucks. South Florida sucks. Miami is not greater than New York. Miami is not greater than Chicago. Miami is not greater than Los Angeles. Miami is not the center of the universe and it never will be.

    Miami is exactly what Ive described and that is only the tip of the iceberg. I wouldnt discourage anyone from coming here on vacation in February. Thats all this place is good for. Trust me.
  • Mike · 3 months ago
    It should also be worth mentioning that for a place to be the so called "center of the universe" it should be attractive to big business.

    There are practically no corporate headquarters here. There is Burger King and there is Carnival Cruise lines (only here due to location obviously). Bacardi rum also has its headquarters here.

    Why are no companies interested in making Miami their hub? For the reasons I mentioned in my previous post and then some.

    Miami will never have the corporate presence that Dallas, Atlanta, Houston, and the Bay area (San Fran/San Jose) have. They even have a hard time competing in this regard with mid-size cities like Memphis, Charlotte, San Diego...........and other big cities like Detroit and Seattle as well.

    But Miami is supposed to be the center of the universe right?

    I could keep bashing Miami for hours but I think I will stop at two posts. This one was worth writing and it cannot be denied.